This is the hardest time of my life

It's been three months since my dad died.

The last several months life has gotten VERY real! 

In August my husband's dad was in a surfing accident that has left him with limited mobility and in severe pain as the nerves repair themselves. 

My mom had a stroke in November, thankfully she has had amazing recovery, but she still has limitations and has more recovery to go through. 

We moved from SLC to Houston in December the week of Christmas. The hubby and I have had to work through some issues, and still are....though we are better. 

My dad passed away unexpectedly in January. We aren't sure if it was a stroke or heart attack. He woke my stepmom up complaining of an all over pain and tingling. While she was contacting emergency services he fell asleep and we believe was already gone when the paramedics came and valiantly did everything they could to save him. It is one of the most surreal moments of my life, and still hard to wrap my head around.

Following may be TMI:

This past Thursday I saw my gynecologist and was told I have PCOS - Polycystic Oary Syndrome. It is more common than you might think. Polycystic ovary syndrome is a problem in which a woman's hormones are out of balance. It can cause problems with your periods and make it difficult to get pregnant. If it isn't treated, over time it can lead to serious health problems, such as diabetes and heart disease.It also makes you gain weight and makes it hard to lose weight. I had already begun working out with a trainer at 24hr fitness, and am determined to lose weight to get my body more prepared for pregnancy. My Dr has me on 6 months of birth control to help regulate my periods (which have always been irregular and even more so lately) and he has me on an insulin medication to help me lose weight and help my body metabolize sugars better. He says that after the birth control I should be much more fertile up to 1-3 months, and so we will try then. Here's hoping!

Also since November I have been having severe stomach problems. My Dr in Utah said it is probably IBS - Irritable Bowel Syndrome, which can be triggered during high stress even if you never had a problem with it before. I never know what will cause it or when it will happen. Usually within 10 to 15 mins of eating I will have to run to the restroom. My husband's stepdad, who is a Physician's Assistant, had me start taking Metamucil to help calm my stomach and absorb the extra acid that is produced. I do that and also take a pro-biotic to help keep good bacteria in my stomach, and those seem to help with the overall urgency and make me more likely to have a good day tummy wise. It's not always a guarantee, but it does help. Ultimately I should schedule and appointment to see a Gastroenterologist and get myself checked out. (Oh Boy!)

I'm doing my best to stay positive and find joy in life. My dad was such a content and happy man. He was grateful for what he had, he knew his family and life was a blessing. I try to be like that, to see the good in the world, to help others. I have been a bit passionless, even before everything started happening, and I'm trying to figure out what avenues of work I should pursue and where my creative attentions should be focused.

I am grateful for all that take the time to read my blog. I hope that I inspire you and inform you and make you think.